i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
