absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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