who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just invented taco cereal.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
