Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
