Will you blow on my dice?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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