guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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