So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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