i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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