is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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