It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
