Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
