She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
