from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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