OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
