I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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