soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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