she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
