She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
