He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
