How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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