ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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