these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
