We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
there is glitter all over my balls
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
