Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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