It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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