i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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