So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
