it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
