sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
