Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
