then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
