Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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