you traded sex for a burrito?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
