i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
