Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
