So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The power of my boobs compel you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
