There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
