He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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