Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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