My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
