even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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