Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
