No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
