I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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