I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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