It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
