Just fell off a train. Bad.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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