guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
