My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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