Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
