im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
