Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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