I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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