Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Actions speak louder than pants.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
