please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
