No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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