Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This beer is not sobering me up at all
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
