Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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