If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
