Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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