Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
