you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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